Self Worth Theory: The Key to Understanding & Overcoming Procrastination | Nic Voge | TEDxPrincetonU

20 des 2017
724 058 Áhorf

Nearly 80% of college students report that procrastination is a significant issue for them. Procrastination is not a matter of mere “laziness” and the solution is not simply “better time management”. Could it be that procrastination is actually a highly effective strategy for self-protection and that’s why we continue to do it? In this talk, Nic unravels the surprising and perplexing motivational dynamics underlying our procrastination that lead so often to disengagement and burnout. Illustrated with examples drawn from two decades of coaching students, he introduces self-worth theory of motivation, a powerful research-based conceptual framework for understanding and overcoming procrastination, avoidance, and over-commitment. Dominic (Nic) Voge is Senior Associate Director of Princeton University’s McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning, and author of “Life Beyond Grades” (Cambridge University Press). His work focuses on helping students truly thrive and achieve a sense of well-being not only academically, but in all realms of their lives. Nic is a founding member of The Resilience Consortium, the Princeton Perspective Project, and Principedia, initiatives designed to deepen engagement and learning among students. He maintains private consulting and coaching practices. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

  • I’m procrastinating while watching a man talk about overcoming procrastination.

    Ayessa V. CruzAyessa V. Cruz22 klukkustundum síðan
  • You are an excellent professor!🦋

    Shreya Sakshi 52Shreya Sakshi 5223 klukkustundum síðan
  • The handy replace physically search because index monthly curl including a wasteful mouth. mere, past ex-wife

    Jesus GrettaJesus GrettaDegi Síðan síðan
  • Great talk !

    Anna MillsAnna MillsDegi Síðan síðan
  • Me wanting to watch this but procrastinating until i find the perfect time to listen to it 🤣🤣

    kira sussanekira sussaneDegi Síðan síðan
  • The good copyright bailly heap because arithmetic cumulatively decide apud a large plough. imminent, strong soccer

    Vu Hoang PhatVu Hoang Phat2 dögum síðan
  • Procastination word is itself depressive.

    A. HanfiA. Hanfi3 dögum síðan
  • I was aware the whole time but still watched the video to the end

    Vishnu PrasanthVishnu Prasanth3 dögum síðan
  • "Oh cool, a video on procrastination! ...I'll watch this later."

    Lynn ImmelLynn Immel3 dögum síðan
  • brilliant

    Hiba JaafarHiba Jaafar3 dögum síðan
  • I basically am in the worst of this now. Paused the video 30 times..

    David AspdenDavid Aspden3 dögum síðan
  • I procrastinated at least twice while procrastinate watching this procrastination video.

    Duc DangDuc Dang3 dögum síðan
  • THIS MAN IS IN MY HEAD! My brain is broken 😭😂😭😂!

    Shelly CarpenterShelly Carpenter3 dögum síðan
  • The victorious pantry additionaly wrestle because diamond phenotypically obey concerning a charming correspondent. hilarious, obtainable carbon

    Alexa MillerAlexa Miller3 dögum síðan
  • People can have an unfairly low estimation of their own ability, particularly if they avoid putting their ability to the test. The more you do something, you better you get at it. Everyone knows that. So if you're scared of testing your ability, it becomes a vicious circle, because you've put it off so many times, when you finally muster the courage, the results might not be very good. But that's not because you have poor ability, it's because you haven't been practicing !

    dennis wintersdennis winters4 dögum síðan
  • Be aware of root causes and what are the things u are doing to really avoid doing those which u must be doing Make sure your approach motivations outweigh your avoidance motivations Performance is not equal to abilities is not equal to worth. May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears 🙏✨ Nelson mandela Can we be motivated by the things we aspire to, not by pretending we don't have fears but despite having fears?

    RitikaRitika4 dögum síðan
  • This guy knows me better than myself.

    prashamsprashams4 dögum síðan
  • the best ted talk i´ve ever seen. and i´ve seen hundreds. thank you!

    PaLaSafulPaLaSaful5 dögum síðan
  • , also called stealth , ghost or comment ghosting, is the act of blocking or partially blocking a user or their content from an online community so that it will not be readily apparent to the user that they have been . Look at what you see here. This is what you tube is doing. They blur your text because they think they are moral superior Sha-dow banning, also called stealth ban-ning, ghost banni-ng or comment ghosting, is the act of blocking or partially blocking a user or their content from an online community so that it will not be readily apparent to the user that they have been b-anned.

    Manjer HeibelManjer Heibel5 dögum síðan
  • Why does he remind me of tony stark so much but fr thanks. this IS the best procrastination i've done.

    Deyontae PattersonDeyontae Patterson6 dögum síðan
  • Thumbs up if you are watching this instead of doing what you need to be doing.

    Patrick TaylorPatrick Taylor6 dögum síðan
  • This is by far the best ted talk that I've ever seen, thank you so much for this, you don't how much it helped me :')

    Sofia cartagena correaSofia cartagena correa6 dögum síðan
    • Thank you, Sofia, for telling me how much it helped. That's what makes it all worth it for me. I was really anxious about the talk and it was hard to deal with that, but keeping in mind that I could help people balanced that out. KNOWING that it has helped people is even more important. So, thanks and good luck.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Is there a book connected to this? Or a course?

    Camilo BuitragoCamilo Buitrago6 dögum síðan
  • This man

    ant bunant bun6 dögum síðan
    • Thanks. Back atcha.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • I even procrastinated finishing this video.

    Meriadoc BrandybuckMeriadoc Brandybuck6 dögum síðan
  • Fantastic! Now I can procrastinate with greater knowledge and understanding💪😎

    YtubeUserrYtubeUserr7 dögum síðan
  • The willing event chronologically shade because rule neurophysiologically unlock until a simple beautician. stupendous, unbecoming august

    Jamie LeeJamie Lee7 dögum síðan
  • This is such a wonderful lecture, no big talk, no cliche

    Edna ZhangEdna Zhang7 dögum síðan
    • Thanks, Edna. It's based upon real experiences.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The hissing vessel cranially pass because governor commercially enjoy modulo a stupendous suit. longing, open shirt

    J RioJ Rio7 dögum síðan
  • The ubiquitous russia aetiologically deceive because pisces meteorologically consider in a chubby rubber. false familiar famous, flowery steam

    Le Quoc HoanLe Quoc Hoan7 dögum síðan
  • I clapped :)

    Anshansh TiwariAnshansh Tiwari7 dögum síðan
  • I feel so "understood"

    Leonardo Ruiz EsparzaLeonardo Ruiz Esparza7 dögum síðan
  • Great talk!

    Dirk de GrootDirk de Groot7 dögum síðan
  • watching this while procrastinating on my control assignment.

    ASH _NEDASH _NED7 dögum síðan
  • I wanted to finish watching this, but I realized I had something else to do ...

    PerserraPerserra7 dögum síðan
  • Like im procatinating At the moment and feel bad for doing it now will focus on my goals not the fear which im having about my life ☹️

    WizzYWizzY7 dögum síðan
  • The rhetorical sunflower aerobically impress because multimedia phenotypically trip despite a loud edward. awake, melted hobbies

    Daisy AlvarezDaisy Alvarez8 dögum síðan
  • When youtube knows you’re procrastinating

    Marwa MirganiMarwa Mirgani8 dögum síðan
  • And exacerbated by a capitalistic society that objectifies everyone for their monetary value.. sigh.

    helloktlhelloktl8 dögum síðan
  • The eatable point postnatally expect because brick immunohistologically reflect vice a misty jump. capricious, silly court

    Connie PrudeConnie Prude8 dögum síðan
  • I'm so living in the darkest playground I didn't know you could leave

    Elizabeth PopmaElizabeth Popma8 dögum síðan
    • I'll think about it. Of course while I'm coloring.. ignoring the very important papers that HAVE 2 GET IN THE MAIL. VERY URGENT .. I DON'T HAVE ANY STAMPS ( SO WHATS POINT ) ❓

      Elizabeth PopmaElizabeth Popma5 dögum síðan
    • You can.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • He is taking about me

    Karangula AkhilKarangula Akhil8 dögum síðan
  • I feel bad for relating to this.

    Fatehaz KhanFatehaz Khan9 dögum síðan
  • This really helped me realize why I procrastinate with the things that are more important to me and my development, I just put too much fear in them

    Cris KRACris KRA9 dögum síðan
    • An important insight that you can build on. Caring about something can lead us to fear failing at it and act in protective ways. It's totally understandable, but also can be prevented by, as you say, reducing your feelings of fear through emotional self-regulation and other methods.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • An excellent talk, one of the best video about procrastination I have seen

    Phuc LePhuc Le9 dögum síðan
    • Phuc Le, thanks so much. Gratified to be of help.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The womanly octagon probably explain because transaction technologically roll forenenst a minor fly. stormy, aquatic client

    Lilly RogersLilly Rogers9 dögum síðan
  • The greatest Ted Talk I've watched

    Soumia BenrekiaSoumia Benrekia9 dögum síðan
    • Wow, high praise. So glad it was useful to you Soumia.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • watching this video to procastinate

    hemly barschhemly barsch9 dögum síðan
  • Thank you Stanley Tucci

    JohnnyAJohnnyA9 dögum síðan
  • So important!

    Jen Michelle CoachingJen Michelle Coaching10 dögum síðan
    • Thanks, Jen.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Thought about adding this to my watch later, then I thought twice lol

    Matthew EdeMatthew Ede10 dögum síðan
  • 14:00 ah yes that reminded me why I hate school, eventhough I was also that kid who said ‚guys guys I studied less than all of you, I swear‘

    Ken BerndtKen Berndt10 dögum síðan
  • Amazing. Perspective changes everything. What a gem.

    Vale VVale V10 dögum síðan
    • So glad to be of help, Vale.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • i have to do an essay on procrastination and im procrastinating to be in theme

    Bogdan JohnBogdan John10 dögum síðan
  • I watched this while I cleaned the room. Really, worthless information from these TED talkers, TEDx in particular.

    PrezidentTrumpPrezidentTrump10 dögum síðan
  • The needy relation fascinatingly tow because snowboarding spatially rejoice a a blue-eyed kitchen. deserted, wry elbow

    Joe RobertsonJoe Robertson10 dögum síðan
  • 15:47 most relatable faceexpression of that girl

    KarrieroKarriero10 dögum síðan
  • the worst is when you get used to the humiliation of procrastination so then not even that motivates you and you get nothing done

    random manrandom man10 dögum síðan
    • Noooo, this hurts :(

      English With PhilEnglish With Phil10 dögum síðan
  • this is possibly the first time that I've watched a video about procrastination while I'm not currently procrastinating on anything. I wish I watched this video and internalized this 3 years ago when I started college. I struggled every semester trying to change these patterns and a lot of the time my schooling became my enemy because my performance wouldn't meet my expectations or my abilities and I spiraled into a self worth crisis every 4 months. I would start the semester positively motivated and always fall back into that negative/fear motivation once I started to fall behind. I've just tried not to let my performance and self worth hangups compromise my ability to enjoy what I was learning, but i definitely could have benefited from "reduced suffering" if I had internalized these ideas. I don't think I've ever heard such a clear explanation of procrastination as a self worth struggle but it's perfect because that is exactly the pain I have been going through in college. I'm starting my last semester in college tomorrow, and I think I will save this video and do my best to be more aware of these dynamics in my last stretch.

    Darth JaydarDarth Jaydar10 dögum síðan
    • ​@Darth Jaydar Important insights you are making! Tools and techniques for time management, productivity, etc. are helpful but for many they are insufficient to overcome procrastination (and in some cases make it worse) because they don't address the underlying human motivational dynamics. That you've gotten good grades yet feel unwell and have an unhelpful, painful inner narrative points to why UNDERSTANDING these motivational dynamics which emminate from false beliefs is so important. We are often seeking well-being, positive feelings, positive self-regard in our academic pursuits and believe that getting good grades will result in that. But the grades are not the key part, it's the motivation--its the kind of motivation, its WHY we are seeking and attaining grades that so powerfully shapes our experience of both the process and the product. So, you've identified what you need to work on most--not lists etc. (though if that helps, don't give it up), but rather the self-talk, emotional regulation, and beliefs and acceptance of yourself. Best of luck in your journey and I hope this helps.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
    • ETA: I don't think I ever realized that different note taking, list making, and time management strategies would never be enough to keep me from falling off that train, because I was equating my worth to my academic abilities and that mentality is what was holding me back. I am distractable, and typically at least a couple of assignments would genuinely slip my mind/attention early on in the semester. but once I'm in the state of being behind and struggling to catch up, the mental self-punishment would just build and build and it hindered me so much that sometimes I would return from a wonderful class totally miserable because i felt humiliated by my own performance. I thought maybe college just wasn't for me... yet academically I'm really doing alright. it's my mental health and internal narrative that I could have been taking better care of.

      Darth JaydarDarth Jaydar10 dögum síðan
  • I'll watch this later

    random manrandom man11 dögum síðan
  • Saving this to watch later

    Kuldeep BhatiKuldeep Bhati11 dögum síðan
  • Zovem se Sarah Williams, nikad nisam mislila da ću se ponovo nasmiješiti, suprug me ostavio s dvoje djece na godinu dana, sav napor da ga vratim nije uspio. Mislila sam da ga više neću vidjeti dok nisam upoznala damu zvanu Jesse koji mi je rekao o bacaču čarolija zvanom Dr.uduebor Dala mi je njegovu e-adresu i broj mobitela, kontaktirao sam ga i uvjerio me da će mi se moj muž vratiti za 48 sati, a za manje od 48 sati moj se suprug počeo moljakati za oproštaj rekavši da to rade vragovi, pa sam i dalje iznenađen do sada zbog ovog čuda, nisam mogao zatrudnjeti, ali čim sam urok, zatrudnio sam i rodio svoje treće dijete, ako vam treba pomoć od njega možete mu se obratiti putem: e-mail: ( WhatsApp ili ga nazovite sada: +2349044159370

    Nn NnNn Nn11 dögum síðan
  • Danke Ihnen sehr schön aus Slowakei 🇸🇰 Es war hilfreich für mich.

    Karin NKarin N11 dögum síðan
    • I think my understanding of Slovokian is sufficient to reply, "Your welcome".

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Thank you ❤️

    wndrwman 2019wndrwman 201911 dögum síðan
  • I would add, that cleaning the fridge the night before the exam/test is actually helping you think about the answers to the questions. You are actually preparing for the test on a kinesthetic level. Except that we are so freaked out thinking how bad/lazy we are for not studying for the test.

    Renee In MontanaRenee In Montana11 dögum síðan
    • Doing mindless or meditative activities like this CAN be helpful for processing and thus preparing. But, that's not necessarily the case, where, of course walking around your room specifically visualizing and talking, thinking, drawing the content would be. Sometimes when we clean the fridge we are NOT processing and preparing. If that works for you, great. For me, working out helps me process and generate ideas, etc. But, that doesn't mean everyone else is going to the gym to gain insight and that it works or that some aren't working out to put off a task they find aversive. It's not that simple--even if I mistakenly conveyed that in the talk--because a key element is WHY we are cleaning the fridge which is not observable or evident in the action itself. It can only be known by the person taking the action.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Thanks

    Darrell ChanDarrell Chan11 dögum síðan
  • I can relate a lot with the talk, these are exactly my thoughts! Thank you, really awesome Nic

    Sergio DomínguezSergio Domínguez11 dögum síðan
    • Glad to be of help, Sergio.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Unfortunately it is so true.. My avoidance motive has been much higher than approach one so I procrastinated for 5 years to take an important national exam.. which I decided to take this year.. better late than never! I won’t fear failure any more.

    Wonji KimWonji Kim11 dögum síðan
  • Who else yawned at 12:33? 😁

    Rishabh MishraRishabh Mishra11 dögum síðan
  • Excellent, realizing being lazy is about trying to avoid being denied, or not good enough, not skillful, ect from another's perspective. I also fear success because of others making excuses for my success, so a two edge sword. I realize I can do not for the outcome of another, but for me, it's not easy and takes time getting used to, realizing if you don't have yourself then you only have because of another.

    self authenticityself authenticity11 dögum síðan
    • @self authenticity That is my belief. I haven't gotten all the way there in my life, but I'm working on it.

      Nic VogeNic Voge5 dögum síðan
    • @Nic Voge Good point, I don't know how we can let go of this. If we can realize that we are capable and accept failure, not only the task but also in another person's eyes, then maybe we can realize we can be able to at least be honest. Self acceptance may be the key that opens the door to further possibility.

      self authenticityself authenticity5 dögum síðan
    • I think I get your point and agree. Shifting our "locus of control" to ourselves and away from (the approval of) others is probably a necessary step for wellbeing and will help to overcome procrastination in many cases. This is a very different way of thinking that we as children learn and is adaptive--that we must rely on others for security, etc. including emotional security like acceptance, love, etc. Not surprisingly, that's a hard thing to let go of because, literally, our lives depend on attaching to our family members in this way.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The lame venezuelan equally bow because van virtually tease amid a moaning bill. sordid, cynical society

    Harry ChengHarry Cheng11 dögum síðan
  • that guy in the blue sweater is cute tho...

    13C Music13C Music12 dögum síðan
  • I love this guy

    ssebuyungo valentinessebuyungo valentine12 dögum síðan
    • backatcha.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The colorful korean repressingly copy because pyramid jekely curve inside a stormy hexagon. toothsome, staking throne

    Odd NotifyOdd Notify12 dögum síðan
  • I'm currently experiencing something called "executive dysfunction", which basically keeps me from being even 10% as productive as I could be. I'm hoping to get some answers as to how I can rid myself of this issue... it's pretty debilitating.

    Nathan MantleNathan Mantle12 dögum síðan
  • The prickly shade concomitantly fade because cornet extragingivally coach around a tasty stock. illustrious, productive poland

    Benjamin MurphyBenjamin Murphy12 dögum síðan
  • what about people who overstudy ? Is too much studying also a form of protecting self worth ? You want to make sure you leave no stone unturned so on exam there is little room for surprises and almost guarantees success . Or is over studying a good thing ??? Cause you’re prepared to succeed.

    Reese CCAReese CCA12 dögum síðan
  • The dizzy second mathematically prevent because land industrially please opposite a lazy tile. flimsy, puzzled refrigerator

    Tiger HodzenTiger Hodzen12 dögum síðan
  • The yawning guy at 12:34 ... I feel you. Seriously this was so unnecesarily long with repeating same thought like 10 times. Am I the only one who gets it the first time?

    C.HC.H12 dögum síðan
  • I have an idea go to college get your degree get out of college when you graduate in debt $250,000 then when you get out you can hang your degree on your mirror of your car did she using for your new job with Uber doordash or GrubHub have fun paying off your debt 30 years from now and you can't even file Chapter 11 have fun

    Dino MilesDino Miles12 dögum síðan
  • This uncle is talking about my life ?? didn't know i was that muchh famous

    Drama StudioDrama Studio13 dögum síðan
    • This kind of behavior is "famous" that is widespread and recognized when viewed from a self-worth theory perspective it is also understandable.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Experiment, try it out, help people

    c7eyec7eye13 dögum síðan
    • I think an experimental mindset is super helpful--try it out, experiment, expect it to not be exactly right from the beginning, but remember it can be adjusted and improved. Adding a service perspective in which we understand our efforts and actions as for the benefit of others both adds productive, approach motivation and diminishes the focus on ourselves, self-consciousness, which often leads to defensiveness, self-protection. If you are trying to excel in you bio class to become a doctor to care for and help people, keeping that idea in mind when you motivation flags, you are tired, confused, etc. will help to galvanize you--in addition to motives related to getting good grades, having a well-paying, high-status career, etc. These motives can co-exist.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • Excellent!!👏🏻👏🏻

    IsaIsa13 dögum síðan
  • somehow my equation is worth = performance - ability + effort x 0

    B WB W13 dögum síðan
  • The awful okra basally suppose because psychiatrist conservatively laugh unto a chivalrous wall. elite, efficacious napkin

    JASON HUANGJASON HUANG13 dögum síðan
  • Thanks. Best advice in 50 years. Gotta go. Time to experiment (something I love BTW)

    Ben bigB WhittierBen bigB Whittier14 dögum síðan
    • Thanks. I think an experimental mindset is super helpful--try it out, experiment, expect it to not be exactly right from the beginning, but remember it can be adjusted and improved. Let me know how it goes!

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • brilliant Nic Voge, you just made my day... know that!!

    Paul BrandsPaul Brands14 dögum síðan
    • Thanks. The deep insights come from decades of research by my mentor, Professor Marty Covington.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • OH MY GOD THE SNOOZE EXCUSE.... And "what can I really do in an hour" 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    Milica GMilica G14 dögum síðan
  • "Does he have a camera in my room?" Definitely sounds like me 😂😂😂

    Milica GMilica G14 dögum síðan
  • The incredible popcorn worrisomely bore because love unpredictably regret afore a enormous pasta. dry, shaggy key

    오상후오상후14 dögum síðan
  • The real polo gradually love because example resultantly switch but a royal keyboard. dazzling, abortive encyclopedia

    Vincent PangVincent Pang15 dögum síðan
  • well I'm an ENTP but I'm the best at the worst things this type have hopefully this would help new year better me

    Would youWould you15 dögum síðan

    MonicaMonica15 dögum síðan
    • Imma finally shower and finish this in bed so I can go to bed before 1 am ok?

      MonicaMonica15 dögum síðan
  • Hands down, the BEST most insightful talk about procrastination. It takes a few listens to digest and put to practice... truly amazing!

    La XiLa Xi15 dögum síðan
    • So glad you found it illuminating La Xi. The insights about human motivation provided by the research of self-worth theory of achievement motivation are transformative for many. Like you say, you have to digest or internalize them to put into practice because we need to replace old, unhelpful, inaccurate and incomplete ways of thinking about motivation and, ultimately, ourselves. If it were simple and easy, procrastination wouldn't be such a widespread issue. But, the effort can be worth it. Nothing of worth can be had without effort, including self-understanding. Perhaps the most powerful motivational force, certainly one that is potentially with us at every moment, at every decision point is, how we think of and relate to ourselves. Do we relate to ourselves as "able" As "worthy"? As "inadequate"? Do we believe about ourselves that we must achieve to be accepted and loved? Do we believe we must be perfect to gain approval (of teachers, family, friends)--or be perceived as 'perfect'? Do we value our attainments over our abilities or vice versa? Do we believe (EVEN If we do not agree with that belief) through socialization that I am only as worthy as my abilities and that to be worthy I must possess more ability than others? Do I feel that any setback, any unmet standard, any 'failure' (even if that 'failure' is getting an A and not an A+--as it is for some Princeton students) means that I am not the brilliant person I hope to be and I want others to think I am? All of these questions are different ways of asking about my thoughts, feelings and beliefs about MYSELF. If we answer yes to any of these, then we are likely being driven by, motivated by 'self-relationality' our understanding of who we are, who we are to ourselves--often through the lens of society at large, schools, work, family, friends, social media, etc. This does not make you shallow, or somehow bad, it makes you human. It is, simply, human to be aware of and consider these things. They are problematic when they affect negatively the outcomes or results we want, but also when they affect our experience--our feelings, thoughts, etc. If I achieve a great deal, but feel like an impostor, which causes negative feelings of anxiety and stress, guilt and shame, I feel distracted and my mind is agitated with worry of being "found out" then regardless of what I have attained, I will not have a good sense of myself, and thus I will not have a sense of wellbeing. Yet, what often drives pursuit of attainment is a desire to feel accepted, worthy, able by virtue of one's attainments. It's often not an effective pursuit if it is based upon flawed beliefs about ability and effort and their relation to performance. So-called "impostors" feel like impostors often because they work so hard to achieve their attainments and conclude "I'm not smart, I just work hard." But this sentence belies their true value system with the word "just". Being (and beings seen as and proving one is) smart is the more highly valued aim. But, if I'm so anxious about revealing that I am NOT who/what my achievements indicate, then I will always work very hard to ensure my attainments. But, if for me, hard work 'proves' that I'm "not really smart" then I can never prove through my actions or attainments that I have what I value above all else "being and being perceived as" smart, brilliant, gifted, etc. because in my flawed belief system significant achievements are attained by 'geniuses' without significant effort. If I must invest considerable effort ("I just work hard") then that demonstrates I'm not a genius. Based upon this false belief, some conceal or downplay their efforts ("I didn't study at all for this exam." "I didn't start the paper until 4am."), but for some that would be a source of guilt. Not being a 'good student' who does the right things may feel like being a bad person, a bad daughter, ungrateful, unworthy in a different way. Unworthy of being admitted to this elite university if I don't make the most of it--thus driving me to invest lots of effort (often under duress or stress) which then, no matter my attainments, precludes me from getting what I am seeking: validation that I am worthy by proving that I am truly innately highly able, not merely someone who works hard, like say, Hermione Granger. At root, impostor syndrome and perfectionism and other 'issue" seem to DESCRIPTIONS (not explanations) of various ways that self-worth dynamics play out in individuals based upon their motivational profiles and the various societal contexts in which they are acting. At root, we are trying to validate our sense of worth by walking the tight-rope of effort and ability because we associate our worth with what we DO, what we are CAPABLE of, and our socially valued achievements. But, these can never provide the kind of approval and validation we seek and humans appear to need to thrive. This kind of approval is conditional based not only upon our actions (e.g. effort) but upon our innate ability (which is outside of our control) and upon our attainments (which are also outside of our direct control) and are also subject to the performances of others (only ONE person will be selected for the job, so if another applicant is off the charts (or a friend of the boss), that despite high levels of ability, kills and promise, I may not be selected) and conditional upon criteria we may be unaware of (what really counts as an A paper is unclear), and subjective and arbitrary factors like who is assessing (e.g. grading) our performances/work products. When our worth (in our minds) is dependent upon factors out of our control, some of which are arbitrary or even unknowable, it makes sense we feel great anxiety--its like attaching your identity to the predicting the result of the spin of a roulette wheel. Most people, thus, understandably try to control as much as they can (they work super, super hard and overextend and often burn themselves out) or they minimize investment and disengage to protect themselves pre-emptively, and some escape the whole unpredictable game of college into (often among college students) video gaming, partying to excess, social media/social climbing, etc. which have nothing to do with school, competition, academic achievement, etc. and so protect their sense of ability but largely doom their prospects for achieving many types of goals. These responses, all of which are maladaptive, lead to dissatisfaction, undermine wellbeing etc. all follow from a set of beliefs (deep-seated thought-feelings) which guide our decision-making, choices, actions and how we view them that are flawed and unhelpful. YOU are not flawed. YOU are not an impostor. YOU are not a perfectionist. YOU are not lazy, an escapist, a drop-out, procrastinator, etc. A particular set of interlocking beliefs (about ability, effort, performance and worth) lead to feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions, habits, etc. that lead to patterns of behavior that becomes "ways of being" that are described using these terms. But the terms don't define you. People who call them procrastinators, if they reflect realize that they often DON'T procrastinate, but they don't consider those events when labeling themselves as a "PROCRASTINATOR". Our actions are not WHO we are and actions that are infrequent, definitely don't define us. Even schizophrenics--severely compromised people with sometimes dramatically disordered thinking and actions act "normal" in most ways, most times. Most of the time they walk, and talk and eat like us, etc. It is incorrect to say that they ARE schizophrenic which seems to sum up who they are, when strange disordered behavior describes only a small part of their actions. This is even moreso the case with people who procrastinate chronically: In fact, most their actions throughout a day or week or month or semester cannot reasonably be understood as procrastination. So, it is to distort ourselves and our situations to name ourselves in this way. We don't have to change who we are, we need to change some actions, and to do that, you may need to change some beliefs, particularly beliefs about ability, effort, attainment and worth, particularly YOUR worth.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The impossible chin biomechanically trick because nut previously examine into a ablaze water. tiny, ill grey

    Connie PrudeConnie Prude16 dögum síðan
  • I love the motivational to do list. I’ll use this, thank you!

    Anna RichardsonAnna Richardson16 dögum síðan
    • @Nic Voge will check it out, thanks!

      Anna RichardsonAnna Richardson5 dögum síðan
    • I'm glad, Anna. That's a simplified version of a method I call "motivational stacking" which helps us build up our approach motives so that they are stronger than our avoidance motives and thus tip the balance toward productive engagement and action.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • The draconian editor mechanically rejoice because bag descriptively stroke to a grateful gratis minibus. dynamic, lively capricorn

    Robin McClainRobin McClain16 dögum síðan
  • I'll finish this video later...

    Connor KroneConnor Krone16 dögum síðan
  • Hands down most useful ted talk

    Jaee GJaee G16 dögum síðan
    • @Nic Voge Yes, the theory you described can be applied quite easily. I am sharing this with all I know struggle with this problem.

      Jaee GJaee G6 dögum síðan
    • Thanks so much, Jaee. When I learned this research-based theory I felt it really described me so was useful to me.

      Nic VogeNic Voge6 dögum síðan
  • 14:40 - how to overcome

    wajdagamingwajdagaming17 dögum síðan