How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

4 mar 2020
4 227 538 Áhorf

Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

  • Michael Jordan needs to watch this.

    Ronaldo GarrosuRonaldo Garrosu42 mínútum síðan
  • Beautiful allegory and amazingly authentic emotional intelligence teachings in the tea break time❤💙💚 Many thanks 😊

    Maciej MagicMaciej MagicKlukkustund síðan
  • Thank you for sharing this. It opened me to a whole new perspective of thinking on things that happened to me. It definitely takes a lot of courage and experience to be able to talk and relate to things that hits us so deep. Much appreciation here!

    Angel PaulAngel Paul2 klukkustundum síðan
  • The unequaled ghana basally challenge because signature extragingivally bare except a enchanted flood. tremendous, receptive value

    Ricky TorresRicky Torres2 klukkustundum síðan
  • T

    Renaat DeckersRenaat Deckers5 klukkustundum síðan
    • Thank you Frederick Imbo

      Renaat DeckersRenaat Deckers5 klukkustundum síðan
  • Very cool

    salut kilsalut kil6 klukkustundum síðan
  • Wow great ending, I read during the video similar comments to mine but didn’t expect that at the end, thank gosh ppl didn’t spoil the ending .. great quality video & lesson .. always remember your value .. 🙏🏾

    Josh EasyJosh Easy10 klukkustundum síðan
  • Amazing Advice

    Mr.WolfmanPlushiesMr.WolfmanPlushies13 klukkustundum síðan
  • I think the reason you don't take it personally when someone calls you an orange is because it is just a ridiculous thing to say to some one

    bees waspsbees wasps14 klukkustundum síðan
  • Sometimes you do have to take things personally

    bees waspsbees wasps14 klukkustundum síðan
  • قشعريره

    light throw cloudslight throw clouds17 klukkustundum síðan
  • beautiful!

    AHSAN ALAMAHSAN ALAM17 klukkustundum síðan
  • Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

    Diane GyemiDiane Gyemi18 klukkustundum síðan
  • Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

    southlondon86southlondon8619 klukkustundum síðan
  • Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

  • I sent dis to my mom and my pops lmao hopefully dey don’t take it personally 😂😂

    Angel GAngel G20 klukkustundum síðan
  • “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.” - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person). Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

    huỳnh nguyễnhuỳnh nguyễn23 klukkustundum síðan
  • Kisss

    Man ThemMan ThemDegi Síðan síðan
  • Michael Jordan disagrees btw

    Charles LalawiganCharles LalawiganDegi Síðan síðan
  • Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

    J BJ BDegi Síðan síðan
  • Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

    James CoolJames CoolDegi Síðan síðan
  • What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

    Nali ShieldNali ShieldDegi Síðan síðan
  • Awwwwww loved it.

    Floyd John BarbinFloyd John BarbinDegi Síðan síðan
  • My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

    Hasitha MapalagamaHasitha MapalagamaDegi Síðan síðan
  • 4:46 "It's our ego." It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

    borgoat12borgoat12Degi Síðan síðan
  • Look up this psychological-abuse term: GASLIGHTING. There are some people who do this to everyone around them, and build up a kind of gang-mentality against "others" they focus too much on. When you realize this kind of abuse has been used on you, the abuser's attempts to control, blame, or judge you becomes obvious. As Yahusha said, "If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." [Yahukanon 8:31-32]

    Lew WhiteLew WhiteDegi Síðan síðan
  • bro that ending spoke absolute volumes.just wow

    im just saucyim just saucyDegi Síðan síðan
  • I have hard time re- shifting my thinking but hopefully after this talk I remember “ it’s not about me “ and it’s EGO .. thanks for this presentation 🙏🏽

    Mashaer AlkhatrawiMashaer AlkhatrawiDegi Síðan síðan
  • Tysm! No one would ever teach me this.

    A DA DDegi Síðan síðan
  • Well, to be honest, it's often more useful to be right than happy... And you can be mindlessly happy just cheating yourself... but these are cheap tricks to me, I don't buy it. Of course it is advisable not to ponder too much on our failures, let alone get depressed by them... But it shouldn't come at the cost of blindfolding yourself to reality... And a football referee should know about it damn well. Am I to think they don't strive to be professional, just seek an occasion to practise happiness no matter what players and spectators see? 😎

    Micelius BeverusMicelius BeverusDegi Síðan síðan
  • Feeling relaxed after hearing it.🙂

    saurabh kalesaurabh kaleDegi Síðan síðan
  • The daffy parent contrarily curve because cactus acceptably beg along a breakable lyric. paltry, lumpy kenneth

    Asad MarjiAsad Marji2 dögum síðan
  • Thank you for this presentation. I admire your public speaking abilities and the topic was excellent too. I needed to hear what you said. Being the scapegoat in my family, I am sensitive to perceived slight or criticism, even after years of therapy. You gave me a new way of responding to my ego when it is poked. Thanks again.

    Wendy GillettWendy Gillett2 dögum síðan
  • Do shrooms. Just once..that's all it takes

    AssassinoAssassino2 dögum síðan
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    Botwin NancyBotwin Nancy2 dögum síðan
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    김김태경김김태경2 dögum síðan
  • great speech but I like how whenever he asked a question to the audience there was just silence

    Zachary ThomasZachary Thomas2 dögum síðan
  • Thank you for this. I needed it.

    Sal CibellaSal Cibella2 dögum síðan
  • Michael Jordan has left the chat

    Ivan GeeIvan Gee2 dögum síðan
  • and I took that personally

    Trexy CrocsTrexy Crocs2 dögum síðan
  • One of the best Tedx Talk I've seen.

    Simone LombardoSimone Lombardo2 dögum síðan
  • I am here because I want to change myself.

    Hazel AggarwalHazel Aggarwal2 dögum síðan
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    Gracie JohnstonGracie Johnston2 dögum síðan
  • "Don't take it personally" is one of the agreement on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. That book was a big help.

    Mr. Kent BigmountainMr. Kent Bigmountain2 dögum síðan
    • @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan It's is interesting indeed. You won't regret it.

      Aziz KambaliAziz Kambali10 klukkustundum síðan
    • @Aziz Kambali thank you! It sounds interesting. I'll be sure to read it on my break

      Maureen Khimmery B. SupanMaureen Khimmery B. Supan10 klukkustundum síðan
    • @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"

      Aziz KambaliAziz Kambali11 klukkustundum síðan
    • What book is it?

      Maureen Khimmery B. SupanMaureen Khimmery B. SupanDegi Síðan síðan
  • Funny how this just came along exactly when I needed it...

    Benjamin M.Benjamin M.3 dögum síðan
    • Me too! I’m scared that my friend is moving on from me ( he got a girlfriend, we barely talk anymore and when we do we talk about her) and last night I stayed up thinking about what I’ve done wrong. I can be petty, I’m hotheaded, I don’t share his hobbies etc. this is exactly what I needed to hear. ITS NOT ABOUT ME!

      Ruby HigsonRuby Higson2 dögum síðan
  • Michael Jordan should watch this

    Bartek LicheńskiBartek Licheński3 dögum síðan

    sybille duboissybille dubois3 dögum síðan
  • Thankfully Michael Jordan did not see this.

    Vidhata ReturnVidhata Return3 dögum síðan
  • Really deep and meaningful

    Stewart NellStewart Nell3 dögum síðan
  • When You focus on the intention of the other person, There's no need to take it personally..... This dude is a legend

    Zabi SabooriZabi Saboori3 dögum síðan
  • Show this to Michael Jordan

    MartijnMartijn3 dögum síðan
  • im speechless this was amazing!!

    Akbar AliAkbar Ali4 dögum síðan
  • Is there even sitting someone in front of him? So silent damn

    Seyfo03Seyfo034 dögum síðan
  • 16:13 while taking out his 20 Euros note, he accidentally dropped a coin. I don't know if he noticed or not but I wanted to point it out.

    Ajey NagerAjey Nager4 dögum síðan
  • Amazing man good job. Thanks a lot.

    shubhank sharmashubhank sharma4 dögum síðan
  • i think its in my dna to not take things seriously and make horrible comedy out of it and i feel personally attacked by that.

    VortexVortex4 dögum síðan
  • easier said than done.

    Junaidi IsmailJunaidi Ismail4 dögum síðan
  • Thanks

    Harman KaurHarman Kaur4 dögum síðan
  • Amazing talk! Awesome conclusion! Lots of respect!

    Nishant RainaNishant Raina4 dögum síðan
  • His teaching relates to my thinking. This is helping a chang in my thinking ,and is helping my high blood pressure.

    Jessica grayJessica gray4 dögum síðan
  • This is so true for me i need to change n be more happy n chill in this sense

    💣10mrbomber🚀💣10mrbomber🚀4 dögum síðan
  • I remember there was a class in my middle school that was similar to this I think was named 'Character development.' Just putting it out there if anyone wants to learn more about topics like these.

    Lina ALina A4 dögum síðan
  • Majestic and breathtaking. You are so right about being fortunate to live beneath dark skies. Millions around the globe are, sadly, cut off rom the universe in a very real way. This was your finest opening, Richard! That Sony does great things with video at night. Maybe you can now better capture a light painting session so we can see your timings and technique?

    Chris MosnerChris Mosner4 dögum síðan
  • Loved the last 20euros example

    Shalini JainShalini Jain4 dögum síðan
  • We need a Tedx Talks School 😊

    Deriv Trading CommunityDeriv Trading Community4 dögum síðan
  • As a performer, I too wondered why the audience would be quite when I would perform on stage. Like many people here are wondering the same question about this audience. One day I asked a seasoned performer if he knew why the audience wasn’t clapping or being more vocal... he told me that the when a performance is so good, the audience is captivated by the presentation that they don’t think to clap or show emotion. It all makes sense because at the end of every show we would get a standing ovation. Crazy how that works. And in the theater world being quite is good etiquette as well. You literally have to tell the audience they can clap and make noise.

    Nets 4 ChangeNets 4 Change5 dögum síðan
  • Epic ending

    Diegomolinams98Diegomolinams985 dögum síðan
  • Yesterday someone asked me if I was insecure about my body and I lied to them and told them no I love my body. It definitely needs some work but I love it nonetheless because it is mine and mine only... I felt attacked by the mere question that I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Maybe the person was raising this seeing how I'm always so reserved and unconfident ... Or it is about me... The fact that it is hard to look at myself in the mirror, take pictures and post them, wear fashionable clothes like girls my age or even walk down the street without my arms crossed and head pointed at the ground... But you see, these are things you can't tell people... As a girl who grew up without a mother around... there are things that affect the way you view yourself... But this guy brings an interesting idea to my head. It is so simple but hardly ever practiced. I'm not in need of sympathy, I just wanted to share my piece of story and tell you to stay strong.

    Claire JonesClaire Jones5 dögum síðan
  • how handsome of a man. thanks for the talk.

    Zaria LaneZaria Lane5 dögum síðan
  • Bars

    Jade DadizJade Dadiz5 dögum síðan

    Tara HenryTara Henry5 dögum síðan
  • Good stuff✌️

    Nicolas ShalatyNicolas Shalaty5 dögum síðan
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    Mauri NicolasMauri Nicolas5 dögum síðan
  • Thank you

    Imagine that ProductionsImagine that Productions5 dögum síðan
  • People on the internet especially twitch, twitter, reddit should see this and take his advice. I am fcking tired of banning words on forums and see whining people on meme subreddits that they got offended by something that's not offensive in any way.

    Bence SárköziBence Sárközi5 dögum síðan
  • I am just here to see the other side of the story

    chaitanya velamalachaitanya velamala5 dögum síðan
  • this is some polyanna naive kind of wishy washy thiinking and quite harming. you can take this personally

    reganmcneilonacidreganmcneilonacid5 dögum síðan
  • Just love it, thank you.

    Zakir ChowdhoryZakir Chowdhory6 dögum síðan
  • What if he shits on the 20EUR - who wants it then?:)

    ImmortalImmortal6 dögum síðan
  • OMG. The ending was GOLD. A huge thank you Frederick for this much-needed pep talk.

    M MM M6 dögum síðan
  • Hi Frederik, thanks very much!

    Federico TarroniFederico Tarroni6 dögum síðan
  • Yang milih allah like yg Mili dajal hirawkan 1:39.........m.

    Lelan TanphucLelan Tanphuc6 dögum síðan
  • Wow sir that was really really helpful❤️❤️

    apoorva mahajanapoorva mahajan6 dögum síðan
  • I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Brian TannerBrian Tanner6 dögum síðan
    • @Create With Darling jj

      ChristinaChristinaDegi Síðan síðan
    • Kk

      ChristinaChristinaDegi Síðan síðan
    • Not true because if ppl bullie then well you're fudged

      Funky HumanFunky HumanDegi Síðan síðan
    • Me too 😭

      Create With DarlingCreate With DarlingDegi Síðan síðan
    • So wholesome 😭

      Lo MedLo Med4 dögum síðan
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    Do Ngoc QuynhDo Ngoc Quynh6 dögum síðan
  • I was really glad that i'd stumbled on this video and this was my first time that I watched ted talk that I really finished it. At the end of the video it was a very thought-provoking metephor. I even smiled at the end of the video while he said "You will always keep your value."

    ecefwecefw6 dögum síðan
  • This guy is a genius

    Devineee VisionaryDevineee Visionary6 dögum síðan
  • I needed this today. Thanks, Google.

    erratic_calmerratic_calm6 dögum síðan
  • In conclusion: $20 is $20

    Fuji HonjoFuji Honjo6 dögum síðan
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
  • Wonderful public speaking and suberb ending! Will have to use that sometime!!!

    Amen SisterAmen Sister6 dögum síðan
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
  • 9:54 my thoughts exactly

    Joseph MillsJoseph Mills6 dögum síðan
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • Whatzapp ✅

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
  • i showed this to my girlfriend but she took it personally

    logan swartzlogan swartz6 dögum síðan
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 dögum síðan
  • We need this sooo much, because people are becoming soo rude, and not gentle

    Abiya FellakAbiya Fellak6 dögum síðan
  • This must be one of the best videos of the year! Impressive, thx

    Abiya FellakAbiya Fellak6 dögum síðan
  • “You will always keep your value”. Wow so powerful!

    ALWestcottALWestcott6 dögum síðan
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    greg boleygreg boley6 dögum síðan
  • This is what should be called motivational video. I loved it

    Fidel LivinoFidel Livino6 dögum síðan
  • Love this

    Milly ThimarasMilly Thimaras7 dögum síðan
  • That! "Wipes tear from eye"

    mosomo17mosomo177 dögum síðan
  • Be honest, open-minded and comunicate is the key of almost social interface problems in some kind of society. (shouldnt generalize things however i am just trying to contrast by using my limited expericence ) :)

    thuy Phamthuy Pham7 dögum síðan